I remember the day we got the call for Mary. We had been waiting for a call from our foster agency for what felt like an eternity. Then, at last, it came—the call that would forever change our lives. The timing was, in many ways, providential. I had just returned from a pilgrimage to the Holy Land with my parents and sister, a journey that had deepened my faith and strengthened my trust in God’s plan. We were ready—or at least, I thought we were.
She was currently in the NICU after spending three months receiving intensive care. Born prematurely at only 23 weeks, she weighed just 1 pound and 1 ounce at birth. Her survival was nothing short of miraculous. Doctors told us she might have developmental challenges, but we also knew that God would equip us with the grace we needed to face whatever came our way.
As Mary grew, we saw firsthand the reality of those challenges. Her milestones came slower than other children’s, and the delays never quite disappeared. The term “developmental disabilities” soon became part of our daily vocabulary. We navigated a whirlwind of appointments—visits to the cardiologist to monitor the hole in her heart, consultations with occupational therapists to help her “grow” out of primitive reflexes, and speech therapy to assist with her processing difficulties. We met with case managers through Rainbows United, who introduced us to advocacy. We poured over books on child development, cognitive delays, and behavioral therapies. We explored traditional medicine and natural remedies, always searching for the best ways to support Mary.
Despite all the questions and challenges, one thing remained constant: our profound love for her and the joy she brought into our family. Fourteen years in, I can say with certainty that Mary has transformed our lives in ways we never could have imagined. Many of our family’s funniest and most cherished memories start with the phrase, “Remember when Mary…?” She has filled our home with laughter, teaching us to appreciate life’s simplest joys. At the same time, she has stretched our patience and deepened our capacity to forgive. Because of how she processes the world, she often doesn’t realize the impact of her actions. Her emotional age remains around six or seven, which means she experiences the world with the same wonder, innocence, and excitement of a child.
Reflecting on Matthew 18:3—”Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”—I realize that Mary embodies this passage in a way that few of us ever could. She delights in the smallest things, embraces people without prejudice, and approaches life with unshakable optimism. She gives her love freely, and her hugs—offered to anyone who might need one—are without hesitation.
This week’s Morality Matters focuses on the dignity and care individuals with disabilities deserve (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2276, 1935). The dignity of the human person is not dependent on ability, intelligence, or achievements. God gives us our intrinsic dignity. Every life is valuable, and every person is worthy of love and care. Mary has been a living testament to this truth. She has taught us firsthand the beauty of seeing beyond the world’s definition of success and worth.
Similarly, the Catechism affirms the fundamental equality of all people: “The equality of men rests essentially on their dignity as persons and the rights that flow from it” (CCC 1935). Discrimination, exclusion, or lack of consideration for those with disabilities contradicts the very heart of Christ’s message. In advocating for Mary, I have seen how our society often falls short in recognizing the full dignity of those with special needs. Simple things—accessibility, inclusion in community activities, educational support—are not always guaranteed. That realization has only strengthened my commitment to ensuring she and others like her get the respect and opportunities they deserve.
If I could go back and make the choice again, I would say yes without hesitation. The journey has been difficult at times, but the beauty, the love, and the faith that have come from it are worth more than anything I could have imagined. Mary has been the greatest lesson in God’s love—one that I am still learning every day. And through her, I see more clearly the call we all have: to love others with dignity, respect, and an open heart, just as Christ loves us.
Maria Stewart, SFA Theologians Guild Member