Focus: Anger, if left unchecked, can damage the soul; reconciliation brings healing and peace.
Catechism: 2302-2303, 1431 | Scripture: Ephesians 4:26-27, Matthew 5:23-24
Before discussing anger, we must make a key distinction: not all anger is sinful. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) teaches that while sinful anger desires revenge and harm, a just anger aims to correct injustice and restore order (CCC 2302). Anger at child abuse, racism, or human trafficking can be righteous when it moves us to act with prudence and charity to evoke change. The perfect example of righteous anger is in Matthew 21:12-17 when Jesus overturned the tables of those running a market in the temple.
But when anger becomes disordered—motivated by hatred, envy, or bitterness—it damages relationships and wounds our souls (CCC 2303). In Ephesians 4:26-27, St. Paul cautions: “Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil.” Unchecked anger thus allows the enemy to create division, bitterness, and pride.
Often, anger arises from a sense of loss of control, dignity, or justice. Holding on to it may feel like power, but in truth, it enslaves us. We cling to a perceived “debt” someone owes, believing that our refusal to forgive gives us control. But unforgiveness only binds us. Forgiveness, in contrast, unlocks healing.
A powerful example of this is Immaculée Ilibagiza, a survivor of the Rwandan genocide, whose family was murdered. Through prayer, especially Jesus’ words from the cross—“Father, forgive them”—she experienced a conversion of heart. Immaculée eventually encountered the man who murdered her family. She looked into his eyes, saying, “I forgive you.” This act of forgiveness freed her from the bondage of anger. Forgiveness is about refusing to let anger have control over our souls.
The book Unbound mentions how anger and bitterness can be entry points for the enemy. Even understandable anger, left unresolved, can harden our hearts and build a wall between us and God. Sometimes we cling to anger for self-protection, but holding on to anger can keep us from receiving the love and healing God desires to give. Anger makes us clench our fists, unable to give or receive; blocked by pride, forgiveness becomes difficult. Yet if we ask God for forgiveness, we must reach out our hands to extend forgiveness. The release of the debt is an opening to grace.
In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus makes the urgency of reconciliation clear: “If you bring your gift to the altar and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift… go first and be reconciled.” For Christians, reconciliation is not optional—it’s essential to our relationship with God. The Catechism says that true interior repentance involves turning back to God, and that always includes forgiving others (CCC 1431). Forgiveness does not mean forgetting what has been done or staying in a harmful situation, but rather understanding that through the cross, we can comprehend the power and cost of genuine forgiveness. Do you want to love more deeply? Then you must forgive more fully. Forgiveness is what makes love possible.
6 Practical Steps to Forgiveness (adapted from Unbound):
1. Find someone you trust to pray with you.
2. Begin with gratitude. Open your heart by praising and thanking God.
3. Acknowledge His love and healing power.
4. Recall Jesus’ words: “Father, forgive them…”
5. Think of the person who hurt you and the pain they caused. From that place of pain, say aloud: “In the name of Jesus, I forgive [name] for [offense].”
6. Thank God and ask Him to guide your next steps. The fruit of forgiveness is love.
Don’t forget to forgive yourself, Christ came to set us free—not only from the sins of others, but from our own through His mercy.
If we want peace, we must seek reconciliation. If we want healing, we must forgive. And if we want to overcome anger, we must surrender it to Christ. In the end, the fruit of forgiveness is love, and love and anger can’t occupy the same place at the same time.
Maria Stewart — SFA Theology Guild Member